Thanks for all the support and lack of sidewalks.

I was at a conference yesterday that came at the end of long week, and which I wasn't supposed to attend.  We, as teachers, were asked to take part in a variety of tasks that at a basic level, at the most base level, are burned into my practice and my understanding of effective and meaningful teaching.  Metacognition is what they call it, and most of us just call it reflection.  We were asked to think about something we learned as adults, and although I wrote "brewing beer," it was apparent to me that what I have really learned, what I know now at my core is disillusionment.

But that's overly simplistic.  I once had a future boss, during an interview tell me as a point of fact, that English majors were idealistic, to which I took great offense as an eternal pessimist.  Being happy as a pessimist sounds to some like an impossible dichotomy, but I operate on survival mode.  When I moved to Coos Bay I said aloud, "it will have to be good, because if it's not it will be awful."  And although it has been awful, it's also been good enough to make it work, good enough for survival.  Now, looking back, I'm ready to move on, I'm ready to do more than survive.  With the complexities surrounding my departure, I've learned another thing:  being disillusioned is simple, it's easy, but knowing what makes me happy is the evolution of growing up.

It was Kimya Dawson who said "I got good at feeling bad, and that's why I'm still here."  But much like that DC comic's character whose costume is divided into 4 quadrants representing 4 elements, I also contain Walt Whitmans.