How to Obsess Properly

It's easy to obsess, but you're doing it wrong.

Think about your shoes. They're leather shoes. You've put that aqueous wax on them. You've put that aqueous wax on them again. You wore them out in the rain and the water beaded up, but it got through in one section, so you put that aqueous wax on them again. Ok, they're pretty good now. For a few weeks. We'll check back then.

Oh, it's really raining now. Ok, so you put your lace up rubber boots on, right? You wanted lace up rubber boots for a few months, and then you found some, right? So you bought them, right? You told your friend about those lace up rubber boots, right? Then you told another friend about them, right? Then another friend? Another? Same friend? Told them a second, third, fourth time? Great. Good job. Now think about them. Good color. Really even. Really even for boots.

How about petting the cat? Pet the cat. Pet the cat. Pet the cat. Talk about petting the cat. Look at the cat. Tell people to look at the cat. Tell people to pet the cat. You're petting it wrong. You gotta pet it so it can feel it. Like this. Like this. Like this. Kitty pet pet pet cat. Now make a farting sound on the cat. Now pet it.