Dear reader.

Hello reader and I hope, future pen-pal,

Please understand that I'm writing to you, not out of a need to communicate with just anyone, but out of a need to talk to you, dear reader.  I know that we don't have a lot in common.  I have red-hair and am just barely on a good day five feet nine inches tall.  How tall are you and what is your name?  I actually don't really care or expect for you to answer me, but I wanted you to know these things about me.  I wanted you to know them because I know them, and now, I know that you know them.

I live here in a small town that really isn't that small, I've lived in smaller, but this small town is isolated.  It's also a lot smaller than the last town I lived in and it's filled with people who like soda and are less attractive than me.  It is also emotionally isolating, kind of like a peninsula.  Maybe this isn't clear, I find peninsulas emotionally isolating for personal reasons.

Are you attractive?  I'm not very attractive, but I at least don't have a hard time getting into my very large car (I have a very small car).  I don't even drink soda.  Some people call it pop here,  which is something called synecdoche.  Do you know what that word means?  Part for the whole.  There's a dirty joke in there somewhere, but also I don't have any friends here so they can't tell you about how I'm gesturing with my elbow right now.  The joke isn't funny, but it's about execution.  I'm killing it.

-DMK