The Unremarkable Guest

I've always wanted to advertise myself to the major entertainment industries as the unremarkable guest.

"Please," I would ask, "Make me a guest on your program."

Our interviews would consist of little more than a summation of my parts. Who am I? What do I do? Where is my life and career going?

Would I be an incredible success, or an awkward and uncomfortable figure when placed in front of the camera. Can an average, unremarkable young man launch himself into super stardom by a simple publicity blitz?

What if I were Conan's first guest on the Late Show, or wherever he's moving to? Awkward sells, but is it calculated. Can a natural be good or better. Entertaining. Money-making. Isn't that what they want?

Perhaps the bubble is a little too off plumb.